Operation Expect the Worse, Success!

So last week I let you into my little world that was riddled with fear and trepidation in preparation for my wisdom teeth surgery that was on Thursday. Before I give you the recap of what actually went down with the oral surgeon, a little bit of background is required. In the weeks leading up to the surgery I figured the best approach was to expect the worse. I expected the surgery to be long and painful, the wake up from the surgery to be uncomfortable at best and the days after to be filled with tons of pain, bleeding, and sleepless nights. My thinking was that if I assumed the worst was going to happen than anything less than that would be almost bearable. And that's exactly what happened...

The surgery itself was a piece of cake. They called my name and took me back to get put under. I took off my shoes and emptied my pockets while the anesthesiologist asked me a few questions about my medical history then told me to lie down and relax. She advised me they were going to put this mask over my mouth and start the flow of an obnoxious smelling gas and I needed to take deep breaths, preferably through my mouth so that I would go to sleep. Well, I don't know what's in that gas but man was it potent. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, "she was right, this gas is.........." Before I could even finish thinking the word 'obnoxious' I was out. What felt like 2 or 3 seconds later, I heard a faint voice calling me back to consciousness, "Brad, you can wake up now, the surgery is over." I struggled to open my eyes and get my bearings then the nurse spoke again, "do you know that you're surgery is over?" I thought to myself, well, you just said it was so I guess it is, but I responded with a simple "yes." I couldn't believe it was over that quickly and easily. I wasn't even in any pain. I felt really disoriented but no more so than when you wake up from one of those really deep, mid-afternoon naps on the couch. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty impressed.

Of course, I knew the worst was yet to come. They gave me a goody bag filled with some extra drugs and gauze and a diaper for my pillow in case I decided to bleed while I was sleeping, then I was heading home. Not driving of course, I had a ride. Apparently once they put you under you are classified as legally impaired for 24 hours. I wonder though, does the Breathalyzer machine have a setting to test for obnoxious gas?

The next few days weren't actually terrible though. Sure there was pain, sure I looked more like a chipmunk than a person, and sure I craved solid foods like never before, but all in all it was practically bearable. I'd say the worst part of it has been the pain I feel in my jaw. I'm not sure what the Doc did to me when I was under but I feel like I was in a fist fight and took a few shots to the jaw. Even now I can't completely open my mouth. It's kind of embarrassing when you go to raise a utensil with some food to your mouth but get rejected because you can't make the opening between your lips big enough for the food to fir through. Good thing I didn't go out in public. With some well-timed Ibuprofen and a lot of rest I'm on my way back to normal. I just may never want to eat oatmeal, applesauce, yogurt, and/or soup again.